Funny Haha

[Extreme Allah]

So I was pretty bored a few days ago, and posted a picture of me and this girl's baby, and said it was my son. Not really high stakes, just fucking around. It has long-since spiraled out of control, as I refuse to admit I don't have a son, to anyone, and for the most part we have passed that hump of confirmation, and I am approaching a full-on About a Boy situation.

I just uploaded a picture of a totally different baby as my cover photo, and people are telling me how cute he is.

My current plan is to just never, ever admit it, and just make lazy excuses forever.

[Dazza]

Love that child with all your heart.

[Extreme Allah]

"This is my little man, Jacob. I love him with every fiber of my being" was his introduction to the world.

It's horrifying how many people think I probably have a kid.

[Huc]

Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 shades of grey

http://www.jest.com/video/174214/gilber ... es-of-grey

[buttsie]

Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 shades of grey

http://www.jest.com/video/174214/gilber ... es-of-grey

Quality

That was a classic

Took about 30 seconds to realise what was really happening

I think a few son in laws might have found a x-mas present for the mother inlaws they hate

[Extreme Allah]

To play devil's advocate, some of the best sex I've ever had has been with girls with obvious, creepy vampire shit. I know I used to go off about common aspects of female sexuality and vampires all the time, and I know almost everything I've ever thought was absolutely retarded, but I maintain that one.

I haven't actually read Fifty Shades of Grey, and maybe ideally anyone into that sort of thing would just be getting dominated so hard that they don't give a shit about anything as softcore as I'm sure that shit is, but at the same time, anyone with those sorts of submissive desires is not going to be placated by great, normal sex, the same way I wouldn't be satisfied by a Racial Humiliation Handjob (bad example, because that actually sounds funny enough to get me off).

Like, what is a "bad" sex life is a very, very subjective thing. There is a curve of fetishization that is pretty fun for me to think about. There is always this depth of extremity that is so ridiculous-sounding that it hardly seems like it's real. For us (or at least me) that's currently reserved for extremely specific, extremely parasexual stuff. Bronies and the like, which are hard to actually grasp. But the closer to normality you get, the larger your gaps of ignorance get. Stuff curves out around us, based on our own position, and it makes it easy for us to laugh at the things that seem bizarre, but just for the sake of accuracy, it's not like a good, solid fucking the way we like it would bring them back down to earth.

Maybe some people jacking off to Twilight need therapy (I find it socially disturbing, as a troll-feminist), but the causation is not the need for a good dicking. It's probably self-esteem issues, on a level I won't pretend to comprehend, mixed with (or caused by) increasingly endangered evolutionary roles that talking about still makes us sound like dicks.

Not to try to shit on your joke with an over-serious, out-of-my-ass rant dissecting it, but as a BS artist and pervert, I just thought I would unload. Sorry.

[buttsie]

I think this one is going to be a twilight groupie

[Extreme Allah]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c82_1337349279

Old, but important.

[awiseone]

Reading this post made me laugh because it reminded me of a quote I once heard that included the following phrase:
"with the arrogance of youth..."

[JenR]

i can stare at this all day.

[Extreme Allah]

Trolling the Oreos outrage is taking up valuable time today. It also gives me a socially justified excuse for saying really, really sexist and weightist things to people. "No more Oreos for me" is such a softball that even I am above that shot. But a man is only human.

[quick_wit]

Twihards freaking out because Stewart cheated on Pattinson with a married guy. Some fan on TUMBLR actually thought it was a DOCUMENTARY.

The posts on ONTD gave me life at work.

[Extreme Allah]

I feel ashamed of what I have become: not only did I not know what you were talking about, I also didn't know Tom and Katie split, and had to Google "Robsten..." who I also didn't realize were an off-screen couple. I really need to get back on the horse here.

[quick_wit]

The interpretation of the pics by the national language expert was hilarious too.

But wait there's more!

From Lipstick Alley:

////
Ooh just got a txt but this is the last I can say before me and my source get caught up in some mess:

* NR, RP, KS had a threesome! more than once!! (but this was over a yr ago)
* & I am just gonna put it out there but CT was the cast member caught with KS - and she was giving her head!
* & everyone saying they were PR, yes as I will say again, it's true but they WERE actually together & RP was way more into her than she was, and she has been actively lookin for a way out of the relationship & was gonna break it off after the last Twi movie wad released anyways.
////

And:
////

I'm BBBAAAACCCKKK with plenty of tea crumpets for ya'll!

Sooooo I was told that the cheating ain't new. And the director was not the only cast member who was caught (literally) with their hands in KStew's cookie jar. (think blonde & tall). Apparently on the set of SW&TH KStew was caught with one of her co-stars in a compromising position by a crew member. The chemistry between these two has already been obvious. And the other party also plays for both teams *so does Kristen*

Rob ain't completely innocent either, he not only f*cked NReed while he was getting with KStew in the beginning of the Twilight series but they also hooked up as recently as during the filming of the last Twilight. Mind you, NR is married now! Rob has basically ran through most of the Twi cast bcuz he also hooked up briefly with AGreen.

Third bit: Their relationship is not as it seems. Mostly PR, but they are also like best of friends and are together. My source tried to text/call Kstew but her phone is OFF!!!! The shit has definitely hit the fan & the Twilight producers are going crazy telling the cast not to speak openly or reference anything about the situation. My source also thinks KStew is probably sitting somewhere holed up smokin some fat bowls and blunts to escape the pressure - from everything I've heard about her -- getting caught so publicly was the least thing she had expected to happen.
////

http://www.lipstickalley.com/f15/kirste ... dex23.html
http://www.lipstickalley.com/f15/kirste ... st10545085

[Huc]

http://youtu.be/YCiY1y3uJ3o